3rd Assigment of Writting 3

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How to write paragraph with adequate and inadequate Cohesion

The Differences BetweOktaMahendra is my cute sweet full name which is look like an entertainer name. I got that pretty nen cohesion and Coherence in Writting

1.       Give description on how to write paragraph with adequate and inadequate Cohesion

Cohesion, we can say that is the property of flow and connection in a written text that stems from the linguistic links among its surface elements.

Cohesion or unity means that a paragraph discusses one and only one main idea from the beginning to end. One main idea can be develop into specific topic what is called topic sentence. In the topic sentence there ere two parts; a topic and a controlling idea. Supposed you have a main idea that is education, you can make it into good education than make “Good Education”into topic sentence: good education has three characteristics. A good education is a topic and three characters in controlling idea. All in all, coherence and unity mean that a paragrph has one main idea and all the supposting sentences and detail are hold togethr with appropriate transitions. (Dedi Turmudi, Smart and Skillfull Writter, 2013: 2)

A paragraph has good cohesion when each sentence is clearly linked to the next sentence. It will be found if the sentences use some connection words  are: ‘and', 'but', 'or', 'yet', 'nor'. These establish the relationship between a dependent clause and the rest of the sentence. A few common examples are: 'as', 'because', 'whereas', 'in order that', 'since', 'although'.

Sentences within a paragraph are also linked together. There are various ways of linking one sentence to another and make it in adequate cohesion: (1) use repetition of important words, (2) use substitution of pronouns (e.g. 'it', 'this', 'these'), (3) se substitution by synonyms (words with nearly the same meaning), (4) use grammatical words, especially articles, e.g. 'the' may refer back to a specific noun previously mentioned, (5) use linking words or phrases which show the relationship between ideas, e.g. 'however' indicates a contrast, 'in addition' gives more information.

2.        Tell more about cohesion

Cohesion is the connection of some ideas in the different sentences. Paragraph  will be build if the sentences that fulfill are logic and grammatically, and connected to the main idea. For building up the cohension of sentences in paragraph , writters can use keywords , synonim, promonomina, transition and paralel structure.(Edited from Alwi (ed.): 2001:10).

One is also a very important aspect of academic writing, because it immediately affects the tone of your writing. Although some instructors may say that you will not lose points because of grammatical errors in your paper, you may lose points if the tone of your writing is sloppy or too casual (a diary-type of writing or choppy sentences will make the tone of your writing too casual for academic writing). But cohesive writing does not mean just “grammatically correct” sentences; cohesive writing refers to the connection of your ideas both at the sentence level and at the paragraph level. Here are some examples that illustrate the importance of connecting your ideasmore effectively in writing.

Example text	Scorring of the Text
1.    The hotel is famous. It is one of the most well-known hotels in the country. The latest international dancing competition was held at the hotel. The hotel spent a lot of money to advertise the event. Because the hotel wanted to gain international reputation. But not many people attended theevent.	The connection of ideas is not very good
2.    The hotel, which is one of the most well-known hotels in this region, wanted to promote its image around the world by hosting the latest international dancing competition. Although the event was widely advertised, not many people participated in the competition.	The connection of ideas is better than in the first example
3.    The latest international dancing competition was held at the hotel, which is one of the most well-known hotels in this region. The hotel spent a lot of money on advertising the event since it wanted to enhance its international reputation; however, it failed to attract many people.	The connection of ideas is better than in the first example

3.  Write more about differences between coherence and cohesion

Coherence	Cohesion
Integrate of the meaning	Integrate of form or structure and the logical sentences
its constituent sentences follow on one from the other in an orderly fashion so that the reader can make sense of the entire text	Cohesion describes the way in which a text is tied together by linguistic devices, such as And so we see . . . , Additionally . . . , Therefore . . . , However . . . and On the other hand . . .
There is no repetition.	There is repetition.
Coherence means the connection of ideas at the idea level.	Cohesion means the connection of ideas at the sentence level.
Coherence refers to the “rhetorical” aspects of your writing, which include developing and supporting your argument (e.g. thesis statement development), synthesizing and integrating readings, organizing and clarifying ideas	The cohesion of writing focuses on the “grammatical” aspects of writing.

4.      Sentences that shows adequate and inadequate Sentences

Let us Identifying adequate and inadequate cohesion by this text

My Specialities

OktaMahendra is my cute sweet full name which is look like an entertainer name. I got that pretty name from my parent which has meaning; Okta is mirrored at the month I born, October; and Mahendra is a man who will use all of his senses for doing all kindness, making  useful things, creating luxurious way and helping each others . Beneath many people call me Andrew, Oppa , or Okta. I preciously like about all of names on me. I was born in NambahDadi, Central of Lampung on October, 9^th1994 , so if it is counted, now I am 19^th years old .

I live in Toto Projo, Way BungurDistrick of East Lampung regency, especially on Way Bungur Street.  Before immigrating, I lived in NambahDadi, Central of Lampung. I live with my parent and a beautiful young sister.

My drawing on me,On my headare straight black short hair and small ears so it seems a hair shampoo model. On my face are almond shaped eyes with black cornea, big nose, thick eyebrow, acnes spot on it, and I have been wearing minus glasses for two years. On the lower part of my faceare two medium lips and a half-egg chin surrounded with oval face.  My height is 170 cm, I do not look so tall nor does too short. In addition, my wight is 60 kilograms with A blood type.

My hobbies that always do in free time are singing and listening songs. I am totally like music and song, so it can not be kicked from my daily activities. I often sing Afgan, JKT48, Japanese songs, and some nice West songs from Owl City.  Because of it, now I am a member of famous vocal group named PSM Mentari in Muhammadiyah University of Metro and it is look like a professional singer when I am singing a song at graduation ceremony.

All of those about me, meanwhile I am not too handsome, but I have pride that it must be thankful to my Almighty God. I believe I have different specialities which other people do not have them.

            Underlined Sentences are adequate Cohesion.

·         Without Underlined sentences are Inadequate sentences.

Cohesion	Argue
OktaMahendra is my cute sweet full name which is look like an entertainer name. I got that pretty name from my parent which has meaning; Okta is mirrored at the month I born, October; and Mahendra is a man who will use all of his senses for doing all kindness, making  useful things, creating luxurious way and helping each others . Beneath many people call me Andrew, Oppa , or Okta. I preciously like about all of names on me.	The second and third sentences still have correlation with the first sentence because it gives additional explanation of the first sentence.
I live in Toto Projo, Way BungurDistrick of East Lampung regency, especially on Way Bungur Street.  Before immigrating, I lived in NambahDadi, Central of Lampung. I live with my parent and a beautiful young sister.	The connection of idea at the sentence level are same. It tells that I live in a village and why.
My height is 170 cm, I do not look so tall nor does too short.	There is conjunction “nor” as the marker of cohesion.
My hobbies that always do in free time are singing and listening songs. I am totally like music and song, so it can not be kicked from my daily activities. I often sing Afgan, JKT48, Japanese songs, and some nice West songs from Owl City.	The before sentence are supported by the next cohession sentences that vice about my activities (hobby)
All of those about me, meanwhile I am not too handsome, but I have pride that it must be thankful to my Almighty God.	It uses Meanwhile as conjunction that shows the cohession sentences.

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